“Bear with me, please…”
He pitched in one of the most thrilling games of the postseason, throwing one perfect inning in the victory over the Milwaukee Brewers that sent the Dodgers to the World Series.
Nine days later, his newborn daughter died.
Four months later, in a halting six-minute address punctuated by deep breaths and stifled sobs, Alex Vesia publicly bared his battered soul.
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“ I was not prepared to not bring my baby girl home, but we’re carrying her with us every day…”
Meeting with the media at Camelback Ranch on the first day of spring training Friday, Vesia took no questions, instead reading from a statement off his phone while battling the effects of the tragedy that was his daughter Sterling’s death two days after the start of the World Series.
“The lessons we’ve learned from this is that life can change in an instant. Ten minutes is all it took….”
Vesia had allowed two runs in seven postseason appearances, including five scoreless appearances in the heart of the playoffs. He was going to be a big factor against the Toronto Blue Jays, until the unthinkable happened, and he immediately disappeared into his nightmare.
“I can’t think of anything worse,” said Dodgers manager Dave Roberts.
While the Dodgers were competing for an unthinkable second consecutive championship, Vesia was mourning an unimaginable loss. While the Dodgers were ultimately bathed in cheers, he and wife Kayla were awash in agony.
“Sterling Sol was the most beautiful girl in the world…we got to hold her, change her diaper, read to her, and love her… Our time together was far too short.”
For all the emotion that enveloped the Dodgers postseason, it turns out none of it could compare to the private hell endured by one of their own. As he spoke Friday, it became clear why Vesia is such a valued member of this group. He could barely get through his statement, yet he took deep breaths and didn’t stop talking. He couldn’t pitch in the most important games of the year, yet he put his pain aside and wouldn’t stop cheering.
“Stepping away from the team, and the brothers I go to war with every day, was difficult. But it was also an easy decision, because my family needed me. We still watched every pitch of the World Series, and for us, in so many ways, that was a light in our darkness.”
While the public was unaware of the scope of his pain — one day before the World Series began, the Dodgers announced that he had left the team for a “deeply personal family matter” — every player knew the details, and reacted with a giant embrace.
The Dodgers wore Vesia’s number 51 on their caps. Soon, so did the Blue Jays relievers in an inspiring show of solidarity.
“When Kay and I were watching the World Series, we noticed that there was (No.) 51 on Louie Varland's hat. I immediately texted Gus Varland, his brother, and I asked him if I was seeing that correctly. He texted me back right away and he said, 'The Varlands love you dude. The whole Toronto bullpen has it too. It's bigger than baseball. We love you all.' Kay and I… we were very emotional. We were super overwhelmed with emotion.”
That emotion was evident in a different way on Friday, with a newly muscle-bound Vesia throwing darts in a breathtaking bullpen session. His vacancy was nicely filled in the World Series by Will Klein and Justin Wrobleski, who combined to throw 10 scoreless innings. But this team will need Vesia this season as an important set-up man for Edwin Díaz, and are counting on him to remain his strong self.
“ I do think getting back to what he loves to do and play baseball, that's something therapeutic for him,” said Roberts.
Vesia agreed. The road back from grief is often a long and rocky one, but as he hugged teammates and the relaxed spring moment Friday, he had hope.
“Having something to look forward to has helped me. The gym has been my mental clarity. Being around the guys again, preparing for spring training, it’s been really nice. Gotten a lot of love so far in the clubhouse, and being able to laugh and joke around, that’s been really nice for me.”
While Vesia’s statement was wracked with sorrow, it was also filled with gratitude. He found time to thank the Dodgers, the Blue Jays and most notably, the fans.
Yes, all of you who reached out to him, he heard you, and he is thankful for you. This includes the Rams, who even sent him an autographed jersey as a sign of their support.
“"The outpouring of love and support Kay and I have had over the past few months has been unmatched. We're both grateful to not only Dodger nation, but the fans worldwide. My DMs, messages, my DMs are basically broken on Instagram from all the love and support that we've had. I've tried to read all the comments and everything just because it's meant the world, really.”
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At the end of his statement, Vesia put his fist over his heart, wobbled for a second, and it looked like he was going to faint before he staggered away.
Remember this on opening day. Remember the courage required of Alex Vesia to make this kind of public showing. Remember how he handled his greatest trauma with the sort of strength and conviction that has made these Dodgers one of the greatest teams in baseball history.
Do they give standing ovations to middle relievers?
They do now.
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This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.