Next up for Guardian Australia’s new Saturday quiz series, sports writer Geoff Lemon tests your grasp of the Games
That special time has come around again: Olympic time. Like Christmas but more expensive, even when the quadrennial is sliced up pro rata. Speaking of slicing up, anyone get the feeling that the IOC boss, Thomas Bach, would make a good Bond villain? As Tokyo’s Games are held with a modern pentathlon pistol held to the city’s head, hearing Brisbane’s name announced for 2032 sounded less like congratulations and more like handing down a carceral sentence. An Olympic Games costs the venue billions, but the IOC always sucks out a fat profit. Maybe that’s why the terminology is “host cities”.
But running! Jumping! Competitively pretending that we know a lot about taekwondo or solo kayaking! Ben Johnson going faster than the speed of sound! Or was that the sound of speed! Equestrian showjumping departure parties with all the trimmings! Exciting new young persons’ sports, like climbing and skateboarding! The Olympics are hip, they’re cool, they have a battery-powered boombox on their shoulder.
What device was used to light the Barcelona cauldron with airborne fire in 1992?
Slingshot
Bow and arrow
Javelin
Racing pigeon
On their Sydney 2000 show The Dream, Roy and H.G. recast the three mascots as Sid, Ollie, and:
Douchebag
Plonker
Wanker
Dickhead
How fast was Ben Johnson’s disqualified world record in the 100 metres final at Seoul 1988?
9.69 seconds
9.79 seconds
9.89 seconds
9.99 seconds
After gold in 1992 and 1996, The Oarsome Foresome signed on for which fruit-based promotional campaign?
Goulburn Valley Gold - tinned fruit
SPC, Easy as 1, 2, 3 - tinned fruit
Bananas, Make Your Body Sing - the banana lobby
Where’s the Cranny, Granny? - Sunraysia cranberry juice
In the 2016 Rio Olympics, US gymnast Simone Biles won gold in which three disciplines?
Floor, vault, beam
Floor, vault, uneven bars
All-around, floor, beam
All-around, vault, floor
In 1896 at Athens, Australia’s lone representative Edwin Flack collapsed while leading the marathon chasing a third gold medal. When a Greek spectator rendered assistance, a delirious Flack:
Promised him a knighthood
Offered to obtain him citizenship
Punched him to the ground
Tried to seduce his wife
In what Sydney swimming event did Eric ‘The Eel’ Moussambani compete?
50 metre freestyle
50 metre butterfly
100 metre freestyle
100 metre breaststroke
At Tokyo in 1964, swimmer Dawn Fraser landed in hot water after stealing Emperor Hirohito’s:
Olympic commemorative fountain pen
Olympic commemorative flag
Favourite bathrobe
Heart
Usain Bolt’s 100 metres gold in Beijing 2008 was hampered by what?
A bad night’s sleep.
An untied shoelace.
A mid-race hamstring cramp.
Deep existential angst about the pointlessness of running fast in a straight line for the hollow applause of the masses.
Which of these lines did Bruce Macavaney not say while calling Cathy Freeman’s 400 metres gold in Sydney 2000?
“Away, Freeman out well, a mighty roar surrounds the stadium.”
“Mary’s having a good run. This is where Cathy exploded in Atlanta.”
“Cathy lifting. Goes up to Graham. Takes the lead. Looks a winner.”
“This is a famous victory. A magnificent performance. A champion becomes a legend.”
10 and above.
Congratulations. You’re so good at the Olympics that you’ve been selected to travel to Tokyo immediately to fill Australia’s vacancy in the equestrian showjumping team. Party responsibly!
9 and above.
Congratulations. You’re so good at the Olympics that you’ve been selected to travel to Tokyo immediately to fill Australia’s vacancy in the equestrian showjumping team. Party responsibly!
8 and above.
Very good. On the rare occasion that this subject rolls around at trivia night, you will light up the round and wow your team. Try to pull your weight on Guess the Song in the meantime.
7 and above.
Very good. On the rare occasion that this subject rolls around at trivia night, you will light up the round and wow your team. Try to pull your weight on Guess the Song in the meantime.
6 and above.
Not bad. You’ve watched a few hours of Olympic Games over the years, probably because you lost the remote and couldn’t be bothered with the rhythmic gymnastics required to extricate it from down the back of the couch.
5 and above.
Not bad. You’ve watched a few hours of Olympic Games over the years, probably because you lost the remote and couldn’t be bothered with the rhythmic gymnastics required to extricate it from down the back of the couch.
4 and above.
Not bad. You’ve watched a few hours of Olympic Games over the years, probably because you lost the remote and couldn’t be bothered with the rhythmic gymnastics required to extricate it from down the back of the couch.
3 and above.
Uh oh. No bluffing here. You’ll have to come up with other ways to make meaningless small talk with distant colleagues and acquaintances.
2 and above.
Uh oh. No bluffing here. You’ll have to come up with other ways to make meaningless small talk with distant colleagues and acquaintances.
1 and above.
Uh oh. No bluffing here. You’ll have to come up with other ways to make meaningless small talk with distant colleagues and acquaintances.
0 and above.
Uh oh. No bluffing here. You’ll have to come up with other ways to make meaningless small talk with distant colleagues and acquaintances.
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