Category: AFL – Australian Rules

The Demons proved that the show can go on even as the weather turns with a win that cemented their AFL premiership credentials

“If you want entertainment,” former Stoke City manager Alan Durban once said, “go and watch a bunch of clowns.” It would be insulting to compare Simon Goodwin’s Melbourne, which are still capable of scintillating football, to those transcendentally dull Stoke teams.

But the Demons are not here to entertain us. Lost in midfielder Ed Langdon’s “all duck, no dinner” jibe a couple of years ago were his follow up comments. “To be honest, we pride ourselves on making Friday night games pretty boring to watch for the spectators.”

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On-field activations are all well and good but they mean nothing if a stronger stand is not taken with the likes of Tarryn Thomas

At the Adelaide Oval on Thursday night, and in eight other AFL games this weekend, there will be an “activation”. Players, coaches and umpires will link arms in the centre square and the ground announcer will tell us that enough is enough, that we have to stop killing women and that the only acceptable number of dead women is zero. Everyone will bow, the industry will pat itself on the back and the focus will quickly return to the footy.

And absolutely nothing will change. Jess Hill, whose book See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Abuse should be mandatory reading for anyone opining on this issue, repeatedly stresses how performative pieces, platitudes and kicking the can down the road aren’t working any more. Only reforming and properly funding our legal system – from family law to child protection agencies – can ensure accountability for perpetrators, she writes.

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The Cats’ ability to discover hidden gems to play alongside the likes of Jeremy Cameron has fuelled their rapid rebound

“No rebuild,” Chris Scott promised the Geelong players and supporters half a decade ago. “No acquiescence to equalisation.” In the AFL, the theory goes, the house always wins. The house beat Alastair Clarkson’s Hawthorn. It beat Damien Hardwick’s Richmond. You take your turn at the bottom. That’s the deal. That’s the price of being good.

After all, you can defy the handicapper all you like but you can’t fight father time. Many of Scott’s best players turned up to the 2022 premiership celebrations wearing wigs and wielding walking sticks. The flag, a decade in the making and the end of the Joel Selwood era, seemed like a full stop. In 2023, the older players were legless, the backline was decimated, and youngsters didn’t seem ready.

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Being the AFL’s No 1 draft pick can be a poisoned chalice. But the 19-year-old West Coast prodigy has sauntered into the game and made it look a breeze.

The 58th Western Derby was supposed to be a cakewalk. The Dockers had won the previous five encounters. They won the last one by 101 points. If not for a couple of late lapses in South Australia, they could have gone into the clash undefeated.

But they were woeful. At one point, they were goalless and seven goals down and commentator Matthew Pavlich sighed “this is concerning for Fremantle.” Pav is no colour man but every time he opens his mouth, it’s a reminder that the club hasn’t looked like kicking a decent score since he retired.

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