Oil gives you wings: PSG, Red Bull Salzburg and a bad advert for football

Luis Enrique’s side can be quietly hopeful of Champions League progress after deathly meeting of pop-up teams

It has often been said that the point of art is to ask the essential questions. Why does this thing exist? Why is this process happening? And is there any way of making it stop? In this context Paris Saint-Germain’s 3-0 defeat of Salzburg at the Red Bull Arena on Champions League match-day six was undeniably a work of art.

At the end of a fretful but still relentlessly soporific game, 90 minutes of Diazepam-ball dotted with moments of quality, PSG had upgraded their hopes of progressing to the next phase from dicey to quietly hopeful.

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Atalanta 2-3 Real Madrid, Leipzig 2-3 Aston Villa: Champions League – as it happened

Aston Villa went third with a thrilling win in Leipzig while Real Madrid won a similarly exciting affair against Atalanta

If Paris Saint-Germain take an early lead at Red Bull Salzburg on Tuesday they may wonder whether to stick or twist. The new Champions League format has, at least in part, been designed to ensure Europe’s superpowers have fewer opportunities to fail, so their position risks embarrassment. They will not even qualify for the playoff round in February unless they improve on 25th place and, with three league-phase games remaining, are two points and three goals shy of the cutoff.

Victor Gyokeres, formerly of Coventry, clearly has an eager social media manager.

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Goalless draw at Dinamo Zagreb takes dominant Celtic closer to playoffs

Received wisdom before kick-off at Stadion Maksimir was that this was the ideal time to face Dinamo Zagreb. Celtic proceeded to prove this campaign is not the one in which to play them in the Champions League. While there will be a tinge of frustration from Brendan Rodgers that a draw was all that could be collected from a fixture in which they were the superior team, capitulation in Dortmund early in this campaign continues to look irregular.

Celtic are again a serious team at elite level in Europe; while progression to the knockout stage could not be sealed in Zagreb, there should be every confidence of that box being ticked when Young Boys visit Glasgow in the new year. One defeat from six until now is a fine Celtic return. Dinamo never looked particularly capable of altering that record.

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‘He’s earned it’: Kieran Tierney set to make Arsenal return against Monaco

  • Left-back has not played for club in 16 months
  • Arteta lacking in defensive options in Champions League

Kieran Tierney is set to feature for Arsenal for the first time in more than 16 months after Mikel Arteta revealed he expected to be without several key defenders for Wednesday’s Champions League meeting with Monaco.

Thomas Partey, Jurriën Timber, Oleksandr Zinchenko and Gabriel Magalhães did not train with the rest of the squad on Tuesday and Arteta said “some of them probably aren’t going to be fit” to face the French side, who have an identical record of 10 points from five fixtures.

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Are Champions League goalfests down to new format or deeper disparities?

Eye-catching thrashings have been a feature of the revamped competition, but the cause is up for debate

If Paris Saint-Germain take an early lead at Red Bull Salzburg on Tuesday they may wonder whether to stick or twist. The new Champions League format has, at least in part, been designed to ensure Europe’s superpowers have fewer opportunities to fail, so their position risks embarrassment. They will not even qualify for the playoff round in February unless they improve on 25th place and, with three league-phase games remaining, are two points and three goals shy of the cutoff.

A tight 1-0 would prise the door back open but that might not cut it in this season’s competition. Salzburg are a shadow of their former selves and it should be an invitation to rack up a big score. The majority of PSG’s rivals have done so at least once: this edition of the tournament has been hallmarked by booming scorelines and the question, in a week that promises more of them, is why.

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Højlund sinks Bodø/Glimt to give Amorim first Manchester United win

Ruben Amorim received a rapturous welcome from the Old Trafford faithful, then oversaw a helter-skelter victory in his first home game as Manchester United’s sixth No 1 of the post-Sir Alex Ferguson era.

Like his five predecessors across 11 years, Amorim suffered. Under Europa League lights that shone down on the 6,714 partying Bodø/Glimt supporters, this was a standard welcome to the Theatre of Thrills and Spills as his new team just about made it through to the win.

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Tottenham 2-2 Roma: Europa League – as it happened

Mats Hummels scored an injury-time equaliser for the visitors on a pulsating night in north London

Thank you to Mats Hummels for reminding me: this is a crucial game for Roma’s European hopes:

“This game is incredibly important for us,” he said. “It’s possibly our last chance if we want to finish in the top eight but we need points anyway to reach the next round and turn things around for our team and our club. It’s a very difficult game but it’s also a big chance. We’re playing a very strong team but we can show we’re able to play at a much higher level.”

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Manchester United 3-2 Bodø/Glimt: Europa League – as it happened

Two goals from Rasmus Hojlund helped Ruben Amorim secure his first win as Manchester United head coach

Kevin Wilson emails: “If Amorim can get Mount anywhere near his Chelsea prime, then that will be a huge bonus. He’s still young and despite a rough few years, he’s still very talented. Whether he works better as one of the deeper midfielders or in the front three remains to be seen, but if he can stay fit, he’ll give the manager options.”

Amorim: “I am really calm, I expect a good game, a good environment, I am feeling that belonging with the fans. I am expecting the team to show different things, we need to improve.”

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Conference League roundup: Mykhailo Mudryk fires Chelsea past Heidenheim

  • Christopher Nkunku also on target in 2-0 win
  • Hearts lose out in Belgium, TNS beaten at home

Chelsea moved to within one win of the Conference League last 16 with a 2-0 victory away to Heidenheim to maintain their perfect start in the competition.

Christopher Nkunku and Mykhailo Mudryk scored the goals in the second half, Jadon Sancho’s cut-back shortly after the interval finding the France international who fired in his 11th of the season, then Mudryk finished things late on with a lovely finish into the top corner.

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Champions League review: pain for PSG but Inter and Arsenal on rise

Europe’s finest head-scratching struggles go on. We hand out honours and dishonours from the latest round of action

Inter: The 2023 finalists are second in the table and yet to concede a goal. They are yet to score many either, notching only seven goals in their five games. The latest victims of Simone Inzaghi’s smooth, efficient machine were RB Leipzig, whose own calamitous pointless campaign continued with a 1-0 defeat. An own goal from Castello Lukeba decided it after a wicked free-kick from Federico Dimarco, the wing-back playing an unfamiliar midfield role but was just as dangerous. As Leipzig desperately chased something from the match to rescue their campaign, it fell to the Inter defence to show off their usual control, the experience of Benjamin Pavard, Stefan de Vrij and Alessandro Bastoni as the defensive trio seeing out the job in some comfort.

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Champions League roundup: PSV’s dramatic late comeback stuns Shakhtar

  • Dutch side win 3-2 from 2-0 down after 87 minutes
  • Monaco 2-3 Benfica, Red Star Belgrade 5-1 Stuttgart

PSV staged a dramatic Champions League comeback against 10-man Shakhtar Donetsk in Eindhoven, winning 3-2 from two goals down in the 87th minute.

The visitors went in front after just eight minutes from a quick breakaway, with Yukhym Konoplia setting up Danylo Sikan, whose shot squeezed beyond PSV keeper Walter Benítez. Oleksandr Zubkov doubled Shakhtar’s lead with a superb curling finish in the 37th minute, putting the Ukrainians in control of the match.

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Aston Villa 0-0 Juventus: Champions League – as it happened

Morgan Rogers had a last-gasp goal ruled out by VAR to deny Villa a win from a highly cagey affair

A pair of stats, via Sky.

Aston Villa manager Unai Emery has beaten Juventus twice before in the UEFA Champions League, winning with Sevilla in 2015 and Villarreal in 2022. No manager has ever beaten Juve with three different teams in the competition.

Juventus have only won three of their last 15 away matches against English sides in European competition (D3 L9), while this will be their first such trip since losing 0-4 to Chelsea in the UEFA Champions League in November 2021.

Juventus are unbeaten under Motta, with the best defensive record in Serie A. Things haven’t yet quite clicked at the other end, but early in the project the direction of travel feels encouraging and Thuram has established himself as a key player in midfield: tactically disciplined, defensively solid, but with the licence to get into the final third and create.

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Pep Guardiola says he did not intend to ‘make light of self-harm’ in cut answer

  • Manchester City manager cut his nose with nail at game
  • Ilkay Gündogan describes team’s form as ‘inexplicable’

Pep Guardiola has said he did not intend to “make light of the very serious issue of self-harm” when he answered a question relating to a cut he made on his nose during Manchester City’s 3-3 draw with Feyenoord.

Guardiola was asked about the cut after City threw away a three-goal lead in Tuesday’s Champions League tie and said: “From my finger … with my nail. I want to harm myself.” He then laughed and got out of his chair to leave the press conference.

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