The wait between the Conference Finals and the NBA Finals can feel like forever. As Knicks fans count down the hours until Game One against the Spurs, here are a few practical tips for maintaining your sanity until the ball finally goes up in San Antonio.
1. Mood Swings Are Normal
While waiting for the start of the Finals, you may experience:
- Euphoria
- Anxiety
- Irrational confidence
- Existential dread
These feelings are normal. Do not make major life decisions during this time, and for God’s sake, try not to impregnate anyone or buy a pet. Or impregnate a pet. Pro tip: avoid pictures of Victor Wembanyama standing next to average-sized NBA players. That could cause some unpleasant flutters.
2. Approach Podcasts with Caution
On today’s podcast from The Athletic, all three panelists picked the Spurs to win. I am continually impressed by how underappreciated the Knicks remain, no matter what they do. A historic run through the playoffs? Fuhgeddaboutit! Irrelevant!
If New York wins the Larry O’Brien Trophy, we already know what will happen. The public will find a way to qualify it. Something like: “The Knicks got lucky, catching Wemby before he fully metamorphosed into a World Destroyer.”
New York can blame itself, I suppose. It’s something like the crazy ex-girlfriend who reappears looking healthy and claiming to be on her meds. You want to believe her stability will last, but you can’t forget how many times she trashed your stuff. A narrative that has proven true so often is hard to shake, and the Knicks were terrible for so many years that we can’t blame people for not trusting that they’re for real. Being one of the biggest markets in the league didn’t help, either. It kept the spotlight on them when they deserved to be hidden in the shadows. Well not anymore, pal! Recommendation: Stick to Knicks Film School or Locked On Knicks and skip those other dolts.
3. Strange Symptoms May Occur
Maybe you find yourself checking for updates on Mitch’s pinky every 15 minutes. Or you lurk a little too menacingly behind a guy in a Spurs jersey on the sidewalk. Or you start considering a subscription to Cleaning the Glass because you want to sound extra informed at the Game One viewing party.
Relax. Let the crazy wash over you and pass. If you start a fight with a Spurs fan, you might miss a game or two due to incarceration. And you can totally live without paying to know Stephon Castle’s shot quality from 12-15 feet. Feel free to jump ahead to Number 6 below.
4. Your Relationships May Change
This is the schedule:
Game 1: Wednesday, June 3 — Knicks at Spurs, 8:30 p.m. ET
Game 2: Friday, June 5 — Knicks at Spurs, 8:30 p.m. ET
Game 3: Monday, June 8 — Spurs at Knicks, 8:30 p.m. ET
Game 4: Wednesday, June 10 — Spurs at Knicks, 8:30 p.m. ET
Game 5 (if necessary): Saturday, June 13 — Knicks at Spurs
Game 6 (if necessary): Tuesday, June 16 — Spurs at Knicks
Game 7 (if necessary): Friday, June 19 — Knicks at Spurs
Explain to your family that you love them, but these are sacred time slots. If they are unable to accept that you will be unavailable during those hours, well . . . we are your family, too. We understand you more than they ever can. Cut us, and do we not bleed orange and blue? Besides, I’m sure we have an extra cot for you here at P&T headquarters. Just let me clear it with the wife.
5. Prepare for the Unpredictable
The Finals are much like a scheduled C-section. You know when they’ll arrive. You know they’ll change your life. You know roughly how long they’ll last. Yet somehow, despite months of preparation, you have absolutely no idea what will happen once the cutting starts.
Sleep may prove challenging during this time. You may discover previously unknown superstitions. Remember that these behaviors are normal and no amount of nervous doomscrolling can prepare you for the emotional roller coaster of a Knicks Finals game. Pro tip: Pack an emotional-support beverage. (But don’t drink if you’re actually pregnant, you degenerate. Sheesh.)
6. Savor this Moment
You are breathing rare air. Oh, we caught a teasing whiff of it last season, but now we’re sucking it all into our lungs, and it’s even more amazing than advertised. This is what those Golden State kids were talking about. This is Finals air—not that hot, exhaust-scented B.S. air I was spewing back in 2016, when I was Ubering and trying to convince passengers that Langston Galloway was one to watch.
Breathe in, hold it as long as you can, and enjoy it, family. It took a long time to get here and the future is not promised. Smile to yourself and be cool, knowing that on Wednesday, your New York Knicks will play in the NBA Finals. At last.
LGK!!!